No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Holy Crap.  July 4th?  Really?  See what happens when EMPLOYMENT gets in the way of one's leisure activities?  Since we're going on 3+ months since last post, I'm going to attempt to sum up.

Dog?  She's still nuts.  But summer storms have passed so she's 'better'.  No, no Thundershirt.  Yet.

The boy?  We sent him off to college.  Only to hear 2 weeks after dropping him off that his college was evacuated due to bomb scares. GRRREEEAAATTT.  That warm fuzzy every parent wants.  I offer only this small piece of advice to make the leaving (especially if it is your first) go more smooth:  TALK to your spouse and make sure you are on the same page as to expectations on how things will go.  Will save you LOTS of tears.  Oh, tears will be a reality, but maybe not so many.  

The oldest daughter?  No longer employed by choice (and I believe she has learned the hazards to her spandex of working in a donut shop).  She's been working pretty hard at dance with the season starting next week.  Oh, she also made National Honor Society.  WOOT!

The middle daughter?  Celebrated her 14th birthday.  Is contemplating if basketball is what she wants to do (and she needs to make a decision quickly).  Has picked up quite a bit of babysitting so I will probably be going to her if I need money.

The youngest daughter?  Changed dance studios and is taking both hip-hop and dance line prep classes.  Monday's are now very busy.  Moved schools this year to a 6th grade center with ALL the 6th graders in our city.  Not sure if I'm going to like this, but as of 6 weeks in, she's doing fine.

We finished off the summer by boating, taking a long weekend trip to Indiana, boating, taking the whole family to Hells Kitchen for brunch and doing a tour or Minnehaha Falls, boating, dropping the boy at college and boating.  The boat?  It was just taken into get winterized and put away. The husband spent his last night in the garage rubbing it down with a diaper and  I swear, I heard Taps playing in the garage that night.

I'm not sure what to do with myself now.  I stopped working two weeks ago, after I planted our last mum bed and pulled the last annual bed.  I may have some holiday pot work but for now I'm done.  I can now actually PLAN dinners instead of flying by the seat of my dirt encrusted jeans.  And get the house in order.  It's not too bad, because we did most of what I wanted to do before the boy graduated, but I have several bins of clothes that need going through to determine what to consign and what to Salvation Army.  Our closet needs that too.  So, I suspect there's enough to keep me busy.  IF I want to be busy.

Jury is still out on that.

Good to be back.

Psychosis

I think it was about 2 years ago we noticed it.  And it was probably around the 4th of July.  NOOOOOO...not mine.  That one is on the books, circa 1994 (look it up).  This one is our British Lab's, Remy.

After our last debacle (that's my new word) with a dog in 2004-5 I said..NO.MORE.DOGS.  I am not a dog person.  I was raised with cats and had always had a cat.  But my cousins in Indiana have dogs, specifically boxers, and I knew, back in 2004-5 that this would be  a good choice for us.  So, we got Buster.  The Boxer (yes, cheezy, I'm all for cheezy).  We picked him up with all 4 kids in attendance.  He was a flashy fawn.  Our kids were old enough to realize that dogs required work and, SO WE THOUGHT, they were up to the challenge of owning a dog.  We were sorely mistaken.  And especially mistaken about owning a dog like a boxer that is a high energy dog.  He was quickly house broken, although his crate training was more difficult.  Still, we worked out an arrangement that was mutually beneficial.  When my husband says, no one is walking the dog (in winter...HELLO?) and he is done, I should have taken the hint.  No, Buster hasn't chewed anything he shouldn't.  No he hasn't been anything close to "Marley" like.  Yes, he was fully house trained (with issues only occurring when we changed his food). He just wasn't being given the attention my husband felt was his due, so, imagine my surprise when the first phone call comes in about us having a boxer for sale.  At that point I knew he was serious.  And I said, fine.  NO.MORE.DOGS.

Then, my SIL got herself a British Lab.  He was 18 months and fully trained and OMG he was the perfect dog.  He practically excused himself after farting.  YES...that trained.  We were like...YEAH...cool dog.  And then I made mistake number one.  Sure, honey, let's go down and take a look at the trainer who trained Maverick and see his operation.  Little knowing that he had two dogs who he had recently bred:  one British lab, one British Golden retriever (curly hair...SO pretty).  And of course having gone ALL.THE.WAY down there, let's just get put on the list for the next British lab.

Then, the puppies were born.  We went down to take a gander at them, hoping for a red but the black female (Reba) only threw black and yellow's (the dad being a white yellow Beech).  There were 3 yellow's and 4 blacks.  One of the yellows was considered a runt and put in with the golden because her litter was smaller.  Of the two female yellows, MY preference (even though I did NOT want a dog...but who can look at puppies and not melt?) was for the smaller who had ears the color of cognac, but I was over ruled and the larger, more aggressive was chosen.  Ah....but WE don't get to choose.  The breeder gets to choose based on how we intend to use the dog.  And he chose the smaller, brandy eared dog.  Through all this, I kept saying  NO DOG.  Again, I was over ruled.

So, we brought Remy home (EVERYONE else thinks she was named after a Remmington gun.  I happen to know she was name after a bottle of Remy Martin...but SHHHHHH).  And she has been a good..NO, a great dog.   In 4 years, she has had ZERO accidents in the house (we have her bell trained...which has its own challenges).  Seriously.  ZERO.  She went through a brief period as a puppy where she chewed a corner of a wall, but it has been repaired and she hasn't repeated the incident.  She does seem to have a fetish for the girls' underwear but as long as they manage to get them in the hamper it's a non issue (yes, you  can safely assume what you're thinking).  She doesn't get on the furniture.  She knows her station.  She will stay at "heel" on a walk without a leash.  She is a GREAT dog (and coming from a non-dog lover, that's an accomplishment). But, she is probably more my dog than anyone else's.

Back to the story...about 2 years ago, shortly after the 4th, neighbor kids were setting off "extra" fireworks in the back yard.  I was out with her and she was fine.  Then, all of the sudden, she started having issues with loud noises.  It was weird...she was fine one day, then the next she was a quivering mess if she heard a loud noise. Then we pin pointed it to storms.  Storms with thunder. Now, it has progressed to the point where she acts like a barometer.  It can be clear as a bell, and she'll be in a state and we'll all be scratching our head trying to figure out her issue and within an hour a storm will roll in, complete with lightening and thunder.  Our "duh" moment.

The fourth seems to be especially tough on her.  First, this year it's hotter'n hades (100+ with heat index) so she's already panting.  And everyone over 10 is lighting off bottle rockets (including my 11 yo) so now she's a quivering mass of fur.  I had meant to get her a thunder shirt.  YES...I am the least likely to believe in stuff like this but I have tried using some simple OTC meds on Remy (Benedryl/Melatonin) with minimal effects and I'm thinking that this might be what she needs.

Right now, she's a mess. She's curled up in our shower (or she uses the kids' bathtub).  We put the fan on her so that it would (hopefully) eliminate some of the sounds of tonight. I'm not willing to unnecessarily drug her and I'm not willing to give her up.  So, we're gonna get the Thundershirt to see if it works.

Because, it's heart breaking seeing a British Lab...who is trained at gunshots, looking like this:

 *sniff*

Hello????...Anyone out there????

Holy Mother of Pearl!  I knew it had been a while since I had last posted but I didn't realize that the last one was way back in May!  I mean, I knew we were busy but not THAT busy.  And I'll fess up, I have posts going through my  head daily but I always have to stop and consider...is it appropriate?

The lack of posts should be telling. :-P

So, like May, we're going to do a run through of June.

Softball(or sweatball) games begin:  June 4
Last day of school:  June 6.
First day of anti-psychotic drugs: June 7 (and FYI...they don't work.  Ask my kids)
The boy's graduation party:  June 8*
The boy graduates from high school: June 9 *sniff*
Checking account officially empty as we attend last graduation party:  June 17
Dance starts back up and any chance of money actually residing in checking account decreases to zero:  June 18
Basketball and the whining of WHO will be DRIVING her the mile to the camp begins:  June 19
I, officially, became the mother of an adult:  June 28

So, as you can see, life has been crazy.  And while I'd love to say that things will now settle down a little, that would mean I would have to let the evil half of me that refuses to accept reality a foot hold and well, life is tenuous enough without HER in control.  On our radar for the next couple weeks is:


Freshman orientation at NDSU: Jul 9
Election judge training class:  Jul 10
Church camp, Dance camp, Cousin camp...a veritable plethora of camps to be attended in July. And don't even get me started about August, which is usually my month to kick back and slowly prepare for school.  Uh...no.  Not this month.


And through all this, I'm still working.  Not like the first couple weeks but enough to mean I now have to PLAN going to the grocery store.  I haven't had to do that in 13 years.  And I don't dare ask my children to make a grocery list as you can just imagine what it would include.


So, for now, we're attempting to enjoy the horrific temps (upper 90s with HI into the 100s), if that is even possible, by spending as much time as possible on the boat.  Occasionally with the kids but usually, they choose not to join us.  Tomorrow, the girls have consented to bless us with their presence.  Pray that they can, for just one day, put aside their petty squabbles and make it a wonderful day.


I'd hate for them to know I'm counting (63).


*the boy requested pulled pork.  I recommend NOT doing 50# of it.  It will be WAY too much.  And yes I wrote it all down.  But it's a moot point cause the dancer has decided she wants a sundae bar for her graduation party.  Given the amount of work I put into the boy's, I'm seriously considering it.  Good thing I have 2 years to decide.

May...it sorta just slipped by...

I've had many posts going through my mind and I actually have a couple drafts (that are very deep), but I had no idea it had been over a month since I had last posted.  So, this is going to be a recap of the month of May.  Stay and read, or move on...but here goes.

May started with what May always starts with for us:  the combined dance recital and prom day.  ALWAYS a fun day for a parent who needs to be at two places at one time.  Luckily, this year the recital times changed and there was an early 1030 recital time that worked better for us and allowed us to see to both events.

My girls were fabulous: 

My oldest daughter's costume was a dance to "Be Italian".  Her second dance was a "Bollywood" dance.  The costume was more fun than the difficulty of the dance but she did great with both.  My youngest daughter's costume was her tap dance to "Singing in the Rain/Umbrella" montage that they did with full sized umbrellas.  Her second dance was to "Country Girls Shake it for Me", and was a lot of fun.  And of course middle daughter was there to cheer on her sisters.

From there we raced back to town in order to get the boy's flowers and see him in his tux.  Before it started raining.  Unfortunately, we didn't quite make it before the deluge.  Luckily only we got wet.  He had pictures at friends' house and they sent us pictures.  It DID stop raining before the Grand March at the high school so we got to see many of the Junior and Seniors in their finery.  Like the boy and his stunning date:

The next week, I got a call asking if I could start work a week early.  WHAT?  Work?  Yes, in a masochistic twist, I volunteered to help a friend whose landscape company wasn't fully staffed and needed temporary help installing annual beds at commercial sites.  Not being busy and having an opportunity to earn a little money (especially with recent expenditures and a child graduating), I jumped at the opportunity.  It meant we would have to alter some well established schedules (as I had to be AT work by 630am) but we figured it was short term (although full time) and we would make it work.  Little did I know that nothing really prepares your body for 10-12 hours of that sort of physical activity.  The saving grace (or at least I'm looking at it that way) is that there was no break in activity which meant that my body didn't get the opportunity to REALLY hurt.

I am going to take a moment to delve into work ethic.  I look at my own kids and how the behave in our house and I will be honest and say I'm a little afraid that I have failed them with regard to a work ethic.  They will, when asked, help with chores but will also typically do only what is asked, will do as little as they think they can get away with doing.  My HOPE is that they are only this way with us (which of course makes me sad...I will of course throw out the platitude that "A job worth doing is worth doing well" regardless of whether it is in our house or outside of our house).  I mention this because after a week of installing beds, we had help in the form of a college student who has worked just as hard as the  more mature team members.  It could be that she is following our lead.  Or it could be that this is who she is.  Regardless, it gives me hope for my own children, although I WILL continue to nag about the jobs they do at home.

Then we had the annual spring fling. AKA salad night.  This was our 7th and I think I am really getting better and better at this.  Even though I wasn't sure I would be able to muster the energy after working a 12 hour day on Friday, running to the stores to do all my shopping and attempting to get as much prep work done on Friday as possible, I was sure I would be EXHAUSTED by Saturday.  I was, but it was a good exhaustion.  I also miscalculated on how much time I would have.  I thought I had done enough prep work on Friday night to have to only do a few things on Saturday but OH BOY was I wrong.  I was getting in the shower 20 minutes before the party started.

The menu was changed only slightly.  Last year's  Chicken Pear and Pistachio didn't really go over that great so I removed that one and replaced it with a Chicken Spinach salad with a Warm Bacon dressing that went over REALLY well.  I had someone tell me that their favorite was the bacon/bacon salad.  As if I had to figure out what he meant.  I also added a fruit salad to the mix, which was a recipe from my SIL but I kicked it up a notch by adding chopped crystallized ginger making it phenomenal.  The drink de jour was a Black Swan which I found on Pinterest and those who indulged seemed to love.  Appetizers included the marinated tomato on grilled bread, black bean salsa and the new one this year:  shrimp ceviche.  I was a bit nervous about this because it is basically raw shrimp that is "cooked" in lime juice (the acid cooks it, there is no heat involved), but it turned out great.  A definite keeper.  Dessert was dialed back to double chocolate brownies and walnut brownies.  Observation:  men seem to like nuts more than women. I happen to be on the side of men on this one.  We had a few moments of threat of rain, but for the most part any severe weather held off.  Polish horseshoes were played.  The myriad of kids thoroughly enjoyed the trampoline.  With a final head count of 24 I believe we can call it another spring fling success.

May 23 the youngest turned 11.   With all of the end of year activities, we have put off celebrating her birthday until after the graduation party is over, but she did get a dinner out at her favorite place:  Chilis.  Since it meant no cooking for me, I was SO good with that.  I always feel bad about her and her next sister as their birthdays are at the end and beginning of the school year when things are the craziest and they tend to get gypped when one does a side by side comparison to what I have done with the other two.  I will probably be making their "deprived" younger years up to them in their late teens when the older two are gone.

And now that the month is winding down, we are gearing up towards graduation.  The invitations have been sent and here is where I am going to insert a whine.  We have received many invitations and all (except ours) are calling their graduation parties "Open House".  And this is my issue.  How in the world is one to even ATTEMPT to prepare for refreshments when you have no idea how many people will be stopping by?  OH, I get that many people are there to do a quick stop by (and especially kids, who will be hitting as many grad parties as they can...and there will be THREE in our neighborhood that night) but still, we have sent out about 60 invitations.  The boy posted it on facebook and of the 200+ invites, there are 88 "goings" from which we expect maybe a third.  We also did not call ours an Open House but rather a Grad Party for which we requested an RSVP.  We have gotten maybe 10 responses. 

The plan is pulled pork, asian pasta salad, potato salad, cole slaw, various bars and a cake.  We have chosen to skip doing his HS colors and are doing the party in his college colors.  I think once I have pulled this one off, I will be partied out.  For a while.

Of course, the food is only a part of the graduation party "season".  The real impetuous behind hosting a grad party is to actually be forced to get your house in order.   I  painted my kitchen, living room and hallway this spring.  Hosting Easter at our house helped me make that happen other wise I would be in full on panic mode.  Since I knew that graduation was looming, I attempted to get ahead of the curve by starting my "order" last summer.  Instead of waiting for this spring, I split my perennials last fall.  Which necessitated having to remulch our perennial area.  To that end, I had 10 (actually it ended up being closer to 15) yards of dark brown mulch delivered on Monday last week, praying I would have the energy after working 10-12 hour days to get it spread.  Luckily our installs are winding down and I was finished with work on Friday at noon so I was able to make a little headway.  The pile of mulch, she started like this:

Saturday it rained all day so there would be no weeding/mulch spreading.  Sunday after church, the husband and I joined forces and made headway.  Monday we finished it off.  I think that was the fastest we have ever completed it.  The end results...well, we are VERY pleased.

And that pile of mulch?  Well, now it looks like this: 

We finished around 2 yesterday afternoon and rewarded ourselves with steak on the grill with friends.

To say it was a busy month is a bit of an understatement.  But I am feeling a bit more confident about being ready for the boy's party.  Talk to me again in10 days and see if I'm still there.

It's a Comin'...

Yeah...you know what I'm talkin' about.  That sound that the washing machine has been making that you KNOW just isn't right but you can't stop doing laundry ('cause, you have  FOUR kids).  And it gets louder and Louder and LOUDER...until you are informed that the washer is filled with water and dirty sudsy water that won't drain.

Yes, this is that oh Sh!t moment.  That moment when you realize that you WILL be shopping for a new washing machine.  AND while you're at it, you might as well throw in the dryer because you KNOW within a week of the delivery of the washer, the dryer will have a massive inferiority complex and shut down.  Completely.  With a load of wet towels inside (ALTHOUGH...they will be wet towels that have been spun by a high efficiency washer so it won't be THAT bad).  And, because you KNOW that sh!t like this ALWAYS happens in threes, you might want to check out that new LG 5 burner 2 oven range.  Just in case.

We actually are fairly lucky in that we built and moved into our house in  January of 1997 (and YES, it looks VERY 1997) and all the appliances(white), the furnace, the water heater and the air conditioner are all original.  It's been 16 years so we really are pushing our luck.  You just don't want this happening the same year you are getting ready to send your oldest child off to college.

Of course, with my awesome 20-20 hindsight, I can say we SHOULD have been gradually replacing the appliances BEFORE they went belly up.  But at the time, Mexico seemed like a much better idea, at least while the appliances were working.

So, while I'm out looking for a new washer (and dryer), I'm also checking out prices on a new dishwasher, range, and refrigerator.  I'll save the furnace and water heater for the husband.  We'll limp along with what we have.  For now.  And I'll pray that we can make it another year or so before the next one goes.

I'll also be playing Powerball/Megamillions. Because, ya know, SOMEONE has to win and if you don't play you won't win.

Feeding the Beast

And knowing when to stop.  As a mom to 3 teenagers, THIS above all else is my downfall.
Probably my biggest struggle with my kids is NOT caving into my desire to give them everything they want.  And I try and pick and choose and do so with purpose.

A good example:  Miss Me jeans.  I will NOT buy them for my daughter(s), nor will I allow them to spend their money on them.  YES, this causes issues in the house and I know MANY people who will say "pick your battles" and that I have chosen poorly in picking this battle.  I see this differently.  I have no problem with designer clothes.  What I have a problem with is setting a standard that NEITHER of us can afford to maintain.  I also know my girls enough to know that they will automatically set this as a standard and, they WILL expect maintenance.  I also find that paying $120 for a pair of jeans when I could probably find 3 pair of Silver jeans for the same price (on sale) to be foolhardy for someone attempting to raise 4 kids (3 teens), one of whom is leaving for college in 4 months, on one salary.  So, ultimately you have to find balance.  But in their mind, you will be the parent of "no".

And so, we struggle.  And we pick our battles and rewards.  Which leads me to today's post.  You'll have to bear with me because I know I'm going to be somewhat contradictory in my thinking.

So, a couple weeks ago my older girls had a once in a life time opportunity to do a meet and greet with their most favorite band of all time.  I have my concerns, as noted above, about opportunities like this but since it was more of a time drain than a money drain, I was OK with it.  Little did I know that it would escalate as soon as we found out on Friday that One Directi♥n was going to be here...in July of 2013.  NO...that is NOT a typo.  A year from this July.  OH, and presale tickets went on sale Saturday morning.  And that it where the issues sprouted.  My oldest daughter, the one who can't keep a penny in her pocket, wanted VIP tickets.   At a cost of $350 which she, who is currently jobless, plans to reimburse me.  At this point, I drew that line in the sand and said no.  I maybe, MAYBE, might have considered it had she shown me ANY willingness to save.  At all.  ANY.  But she hasn't. So,  the parent of no stepped in. No, she wasn't going to spend what would probably be close to the cost of a fall wardrobe on one night at a concert where she will be one of 60000 screaming teenage girls who will mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to these boys.  I wouldn't be part of it.

I did however attempt to compromise by working in concert with the rock star aunt/SIL who got the meet and greet tickets to get pre-sale tickets for the girls and while I failed, SIL was again the rock star, succeeding in obtaining tickets.  They WILL be purchasing these tickets, not me.  So, they WILL see their band, they just won't be in the first 3 rows,  and they will be paying 1/4 of the VIP tix to do so.

This is my struggle as a parent and how I find myself caving to their wants and contradicting the values I want for them.  I want my kids to be able to experience things that other teenagers do, but I want them to appreciate them and understand that this opportunity is NOT the norm.  Unfortunately for me (and them), getting them to understand that IS the battle.  They do NOT get to hit every concert that comes into town.  That I'm NOT going to provide them with $120/pr jeans.   Just wanting an ipod Touch (or a smartphone) does not mean that I need to rush out and buy you one (THAT is what birthdays and Christmases are for, IF there is also a need) That just because they've "been there done that" in Mexico, does NOT mean that they get to plan where we go next, or even IF they get to go.  Turning 16 does NOT ensure that we hand over keys to an automobile to them.  The sad part is that I really don't think they grasp any of this.  Just that they want what they want because they want it when they want it and I am the fool that has inadvertently set the standard. By wanting them to have that which I didn't.


And the tough(er) part is watching their peers and their families and seeing that I really AM the parent of NO when you do a side by side comparison (should I?  Probably not.  But one has to do something to gauge one's results).  Most of these kids DO wear Miss Me jeans, and are given cars, and provided itouches (or smartphones), and hit every concert, and they do so with the expectation that this is their "due".

I have to wonder, am I part of the problem?  Am I feeding the beast even though I almost always temper their rewards with, "this is special and NOT the norm"?  Is the barn door open now and their expectations running rampant?  Is it possible to corral that horse again, or at least attempt to bridle it?  Will it do any good?

C.S. Lewis said "Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil."  So I will continue to be the parent of no.  To instill values into my kids.  To persevere when my children fail to see the blessings before them.  Because to do otherwise would create an even MORE entitled generation than the one that is currently out there.

 

 

Just Between Clowns

Today's tale unfolds 3 years ago.  It was a white elephant Christmas Party at friends. We were the recipients of the most God awful clown.  Made from seashells.  We're talking SCARY clown.  Think USPS commercial.  Yeah, like that scary. 

He's a little worse for the wear because he has some MILES on him.  He may have originated in Key West, but he has found himself in a game of "hide the clown" for the past 3 years.  I had two personal favorites:  having taped him to the bottom of a table and having taken a picture of him and replaced one of the pictures in a family collage with it.  It's always best if one DOESN'T find it right away, but if you're not there for the finding, you just might end up with it BACK in your house.

Last summer, another clown started making an appearance.  The first time was at our house and scared the bejesus out of the husband because it: was big...bigger than the other by a good foot, was gold and black and just hideous,  was completely unexpected.  So, Mr Seashell Clown now has a partner in crime.  Because of its size, it has become more challenging finding hiding places for it (where it WILL be found) but we can be a determined bunch.

Then, we returned from Mexico to find Mr Seashell clown just inside our garage door, a blow up clown in our mudroom, a clown poster of pin the nose on the clown taped to our bathroom window and all those "clown noses" placed strategically around the house.  So, yes, we now have a new level of play.  My motto?  Bring it!

As luck would have it, my MIL was a collector of clowns (which explains A LOT) in the 90s and, after redecorating several years ago, had a plethora of clowns just waiting for a new home.  Can you say JACKPOT?  Yeah, me too!

On their return yesterday from vacation, our friends were met with one obvious surprise:

Yes, MIL actually dragged that paper mache clown back from Mexico years ago. Then we "hid" 14 other clowns.  To hear them tell the story of how they realized that there were more t clowns than simply the hideous paper mache one, they were eating at their counter and one (the one in the wine rack) happened to be right in their line of sight.  THEN they glanced around and it became obvious, that they had been invaded.  And their locations?

 This was taken through the bubbled glass.

If you count, you will see, one clown is still yet to be found.  And you have no idea the GLEES I get from that.  No, it is not hidden anyplace inappropriate.  I'm sure that by this morning they will have found it. And if not, I hope that I get to be there when they do.

You also have no idea how this whole experience made me giggle.  ALL.NIGHT.  I keep wanting to say.."WE WIN" but I think instead, the ante has been upped.  We will not be surprised to come home to a live clown sitting in our living room.  OK, I'll be a little surprised.

All because a clown said "hide me".