Someone Has to be First

 When you are mid-separation, you're out of a job, your friends have abandoned you, you become lonely...craving adult interaction.  Church helps but it's once a week.  Women's  groups help but they're also as damaged and  usually by the same situation.  So while sympathy does love company, sometimes what's called for is fun.  You want to feel some sense of normalcy.  Whatever that is.  You want someone to make you feel wanted.  Needed.  Cherished.

With limited options, I decided to give Match a try.  So here goes the first story of Match.  There'll be more to come, but you have to start somewhere.  First off, I'm gonna say, don't do it until you have the paperwork in hand.  By that I mean your divorced papers.  Just don't.  There's too much angst, too much unresolved.  It just isn't a good idea.  At the time you think "this is how I move on".  But can you?  Are you ready to?  That answer is probably no.  Tie up those lose ends.

I'll say my first foray into Match was not at all what I expected.  I met this guy, also separated, who SAID he was in a similar situation (not sure if there was adultery involved but she supposedly wanted out of a 23 year marriage too).  He had one less child but the ones he had were WEIRDLY similar to mine.  We had the same phone.  We ordered the same drink at Starbucks.  It was very strange.  Seriously, the first horse out of the gate?  Does that ever happen?

We had several pretty fun dates.  We went to a brewery and dinner.  We had bloodies on a rainy day and watched a movie.  We went to the horse races.  It was...fun.  Fun I had been missing.  Someone thought of me.  Wanted to see me smile, me happy.  I really can't remember a time I had that kind of attention.  And I'll share this as well.  There was nothing physical involved.

Then, the "last" time we met, we did kiss.  OMG...did we kiss.  It was what I hadn't had and craved.  It was just a kiss but it was a KISS.  My toes curled and cramped.  It was that good.  Later that night the flirty text about said toes curling. Then...dun, da, dun dun.DUUUNNNN...the inevitable text about needing to stand down.  Not sure of himself or what he wants.  So...deep breath.  We're wading...just wading.  We're knee deep, and can easily wander back to ankle...maybe calf deep.  We aren't underwater.

About 6 months later, I get the out-of-the-blue text while waiting for the playoff game.  Like that kiss happened the day before.   It was so very weird.  And if I was a smart girl I'd have taken a hard pass, but...what can I say?  I'm weak.  So, THIS is my punishment for not getting the first time around that when guys show you who they are BELIEVE THEM.  More of the same.  Hoping the lesson took this time.  No 6 month postmortem, so I think I'm good.  The lesson had been learned.

Never fear my brave Boudiccas (yes, I'm gonna make you look that one up), I will soldier on and I DO have more stories to share.  And some, well...damn.  Stay tuned.